sometimes life is one giant craphole

someimes life can be cruel, sure at times it can be fun but you'll always remember the bad stuff over the good, i talk alot about my dad, i guess that's because i haven't really come to terms with our non existent relationship. I don't like him as a person, i don't like the way her treats other people. I hate the way it drives a wedge between me and my brother and the way it ruins my life. I thought it would be easy once i let it go, once i moved on from that horrible part of my life but it isn't, it's harder and i don't know what i should do. Mentally, Emotionally i'm a lot more stable since i stopped seeing him but i feel guilty, i feel guilty everyday and i shouldn't. I shouldn't feel guilty that an emotionally abusive bastard can't hurt me anymore. I wish he would leave me alone, i wish my brother would stop harassing me to see him, i just want it all to stop, i just want silence and calm and steadiness. I don't want this....whatever it is.